Every Mom Needs Encouragment

Watching Amelia, our momma hen, train her chicks to be independent has me thinking about our jobs as parents. The chicks are already six weeks old and Amelia has begun pushing her three littles into being more independent. Letting them go a little ways off on their own to scratch for bugs and grubs while she watches from a distance. They often try to stay by her side but she seems to be insistent that they learn to be independent chickens. She is constantly clucking instruction to them wherever they are and they are always following her everywhere she goes. We still see the littles trying to hide under her wing and snuggling with her. She will seem to sigh, and then let them in. The sign of a mom.

Amelia has been through a lot since she showed up at our coop door last summer and shortly after when she lost all her friends when a dog took out our entire flock except her. Her ability to fly is what saved her from the attack. (It is also how she got her name Amelia Egghart.) She is still mournful over losing the other chickens. She seems to be memorializing her loss and has collected nearly every feather from the other chickens that she has found in the coop. She has been placing them all in a special nest. Hannah found one of our roo’s feathers the other day and Amelia looked at her mournfully, Hannah gave it to Amelia and she added it to her pile or nest of feathers. 

There are the days when you can see a look on Amelia’s face that is so very familiar. It is a look you see in all moms of littles and not so littles. A look any mom will recognize as we have all had it at some point. It is that universal look a mom makes when she just needs a moment to breathe. To quickly enjoy a piece of dark chocolate or maybe a few sips of coffee that is actually hot. Just a precious moment to think clearly, if only for a second.

All moms need that moment. All moms feel that need. Sometimes we are just tired and really do need a break. When naptime means doing the dishes and the laundry instead of taking a break from doing. Because we know the importance of clean dishes and clothes outweighs our desire to just be for 10 minutes. Mothering is hard. And all moms are in this mothering gig together. 

As fellow moms, we should not be judging other moms for doing the very best we can at the moment. We don’t know the day or week or even the year that mom and child you encounter are walking through. We don’t know the life someone is living. We need to be cheering on our fellow moms and lifting them up with encouragement or prayer or help whenever the opportunity arises. We all need help and encouragement. We cannot walk the walk of mothering alone. God called us to be in community. I am very independent and while my kids were little my community was very small and at times almost nonexistent. There are times I remember feeling judged by the moms who only fed their kids organic and they didn’t have TVs to watch. These were moms who were supposed to have my back. I hope I have never made another mom feel like I am judging them because they don’t mother like I do. We all do our best to mother our kids in a way that is best for them to become independent, because let’s face it, they will be independent adults before we blink and they will be adults longer than they will be our littles.

Amelia is a great Momma hen and I do not blame her for wanting a moment to herself so she can breathe. I understand her sadness as she mourns her loss. Other hens would help keep the chicks distracted and she is walking the walk of mommyhood alone. I’ve been there and even though she is a different species, I know that feeling and I encourage her through extra treats. The chicks are going to be full grown before she knows it and then they won’t be underwing all the time. Though we are pretty sure she is ready to start laying again and she is trying to hide her nest ready to go broody yet again.

Next time you see a fellow mom, or dad, ask God to let you see them through His eyes. You might then know if they need a simple, warm, "I’ve been there," smile, or a quick prayer for extra grace, patience and wisdom, or a helping hand or quick word of encouragement. Sometimes a, “Hang in there.” and a smile is all it takes to brighten ones day.

“Now we who are strong have an obligation to bear the weaknesses of those without strength, and not to please ourselves. Each one of us must please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For even the Messiah did not please Himself. On the contrary, as it is written, The insults of those who insult You have fallen on Me.” Romans 15:1-3