Thursday, March 7, 2013

A Living Example

As moms, we are to be living examples to our kids. Our kids are going to mimic us and use us as a measuring stick to compare us to other moms or women. This is an enormous responsibility and sometimes can be a bit overwhelming if you think about it.

To my daughters I have a responsibility to show them what it means to be a wife, and mommy. Everything I say and do as a mommy and wife is carefully recorded in their little minds for later. When they are wives and mommies, they will be recalling what I did and using that as an example of how to act and behave. Am I teaching them to be wives completely submitted to their husbands? Do my words or attitudes come through that show disrespect to his authority in the home? Do I show a manipulating behavior to get my way? How many times do I second-guess his decision in front of the kids? Am I showing them how to be good stewards of what God has given us? Am I showing them how to be Christ to others? I have really been looking at myself “in the mirror” lately examining how I am training the girls to behave. I am noticing attitudes that are less than pleasing and I as a mom need to make sure that I am not the one who is showing them these behaviors. Every moment of every day, I need to be my “Sunday Best.” How many times have we heard about Christians who only behave Christ-like at church and the rest of the week and at home they act as if they never heard the name of Jesus before? The answer is probably countless. The truth is that as parents we have a greater responsibility to be our “Sunday Best” every moment of every day. Wow, how hard is that? Impossible. No sugar coating here. It is impossible without Christ.

To my son, my attitudes, actions, and behaviors are also an example. However, they are an example of the woman he will want to marry. He looks at me as what he will want in a wife when he grows up. I need to make sure I show him the qualities of a good - no, a great - wife. A wife who always respects her husband; one who is not idle or lazy but is always being productive. He sees how I treat my husband, my kids, my home and others and is tucking all those qualities away in his heart for when he meets his perfect match. If I want a daughter-in-law who will always take care of my son, I need to show him how a wife takes care of her husband so when he finds “the one” he will know by the way she takes care of him.

I am always reading Proverbs 31 - It is the written example/instruction of what God has called women to be. Therefore, I ask these questions of myself:
- Am I of noble character? Am I like Ruth and Esther?
- Does my husband have full confidence in me?
- Have I brought my husband harm? Even in words, have I used my tongue as a weapon towards my husband?
- Do I work with eager hands?
- Am I a well-informed businesswoman? Or am I impulsive and live by my emotions?
- I already know that I am not a morning person (see Proverbs 31:15) but do I provide nourishing meals for my family?
- Are my arms strong for my tasks? Well, I do carry around a not so little baby in one arm while doing everything else with the other. I am sure my answer can be yes for that one.
- Do I provide clothing for my family? In verse 19, it says she spins her own thread. I do not do that, I have seen that done and it looks really cool but in today’s world, that can be done so much faster in the factory. How do I apply that to today’s world? I sew what I know how to and look for good bargains but really is that what this verse is saying? Back then, they really did spin their own thread or yarn to make the fabric to make the clothes. Wow, now I feel foolish when I say I do not have time to do things.
- Am I generous? Do I help those who need help?
- Is my husband respected at his job? Do I bring him honor? What is said about me amongst his coworkers and friends? I do not in a sense cane what they think but then again, I do for my husband’s sake and my kids’.
- Am I clothed in strength and dignity? Do my children call me blessed? Does my husband praise me?

The Proverbs 31 woman is a woman that so many Christian women strive to be, with good reason. However, as mommies, we are to be that woman so we can be an example for our munchkins. I am sure I am far from being her. But if I get closer to being her every day then I know my little ones will see her in me and know that as young women, that is what they need to strive to be. As my son looks for his mate, he will have no question about who is “the one” for him.

Many women have done excellently,but you surpass them all. Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
Proverbs 31:29-31 ESV

(¯`·._.·{ Update }·._.·´¯)

I originally wrote this in July of 2007 when my oldest was only 8 and my youngest wasn’t even a year old. I have been enjoying taking some time to look back at old posts and seeing how things have or have not changed. I realized as I reread this today that it is more important for me to remember more now than ever before as my older kids are approaching the age where they start thinking about the type of person they would like to marry. I pray that I am able to model the wife and mother my girls want to become and my son wants to spend the rest of his life with.


  1. Such a great post! The Proverbs 31 woman is a touch example to follow. I've had a love/hate relationship with her over the years, but I've landed in a spot where I know I can never be perfect, but it's ok to strive for obedience and perfection is Christ alone. I've asked myself some of these, well all!, of these same questions.

    I'm sorry I missed your link last week. Be sure to come by Tuesday, so others can read you.

    1. Thanks Adrienne. I hope to be able to post this week.

  2. I just love the long view here of modeling what being a great wife looks like for your son. I feel so sorry for children whose only model is one of dis-unity! Thanks for sharing this post-your family is truly blessed!


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